Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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