I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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