oh god the rape fog is back!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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