I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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