He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
