This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Who did Billy Mays play for?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
