you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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