The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Actions speak louder than pants.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
