Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
