No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
