He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize