that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
