I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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