Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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