Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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