My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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