ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
