so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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