they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
