lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
