Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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