id be glad to
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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