You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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