you traded sex for a burrito?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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