Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
