Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
