I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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