:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
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Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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