Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
