can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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