You made me cry and you don't even care
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
