I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
