I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
