Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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