I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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