her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
