And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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