Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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