i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
