You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
