I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
