After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
