She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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