David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
