make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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