No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
