I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
