first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
