yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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