Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
