They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
