...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
