my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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