so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize