I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
