please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize