We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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